29 November 2017

Ver Spanken Masturbator - Sex Toy Review

If quirky and humorous names get your attention, then the “Ver Spanken” is bound to make you laugh and draw you in with intrigue. This uniquely designed masturbation device was presented to me for testing, and by the look of the packaging and catchy name that really did make me laugh out loud, I was quite enthusiastic to say the least. Its hard to give this sex toy a specific label, as I’ve not seen much like it before. It fits into the ‘masturbator’ genre quite obviously but its not a sleeve, and its design conjures the need for a different label to be affixed to this niche product. Personally, I prefer a sleeve design masturbator, one that you can insert your whole penis inside of - because who doesn’t love the sensation of plunging in ‘balls deep’? But by the look of the Ver Spanken, this was going to be a different sensation and I was looking forward to it.

The overall design is really new and not something I’ve seen before. It’s main outer shell is quite rugged and sturdy, and very well made. I think it would taste some force to break the casing, but the inserts that rub against the shaft of your penis could probably be popped or deflated if you got too rough with it, but that doesn’t mean they’re flimsy in any way. The Ver Spanken is basically like two large kidney beans, which they call “water wieners”, with a bumpy texture for added sensation, that cup together when you close the case into the a shape that loosely resembles a vaginal opening. Being gay, I was imagining something quite different to a vagina, no doubt!

The first time I used the Ver Spanken was with my boyfriend in the shower. We lubed up and I slipped my penis through the centre and then had him join me from the other side, in a side by side configuration, moving the toy back and forth horizontally. I have to say, the sensation was very mild. I could only just tell there were the bumpy nodules on the ‘beans’, but I persisted with it. I went back to using it solo to try and grasp the sensation, but it was lacklustre I’m sorry to say. The sensation when we were both protruding through the centre of the ‘beans’ was only ‘so so’. The only reason I got to ‘finish’ was because I was turned on by my BF being the big manly stud he is, and having our dongs rubbing against each other is my kind of hot. Honestly, I don’t think the sensation of the Ver Spanken could have gotten me to climax on my own on that first attempt.

Nevertheless, the next day I decided to have another go on my own to make sure how I felt about the Ver Spanken. Again, I was let down. I could have just used my hand and been done with the task much easier, and the physical sensation of having to lift the toy up and down the shaft of your penis was such an unfamiliar movement because of how you have to hold on to the casing, that it became distracting at times. Thankfully, I had my Twitter porn account to get me going, but again, the physical sensation of holding a phone in my left hand and manoeuvring the Ver Spanken in an appropriate manner was kind of odd to me. I think thats why I like sleeves because the masturbating motion with your arm is the same - you’re just gripping onto the sleeve instead of your penis.

I’m a big stickler on the ‘clean up’ after using toys. It has to be easy and it has to be no fuss. In this area, Ver Spanken ticks all the right boxes for me. The toy clips open and separates to be rinsed and washed nice and easily, pat it down and leave to dry completely - that’s always a huge plus in my books. There have been several toys in the past that I’ve just not bothered with again simply because the clean up process is too much of a bother. Thankfully, the Ver Spanken (I love saying that name) was a breeze to clean.

The packaging of the Ver Spanken promotes different ‘bean’ or ‘water wiener’ inserts. Mine came with the bumpy version and there are ‘smooth’ and ‘wavy’ inserts that are easily interchangeable, plus they are microwave and refrigerator safe, so if you want to warm them up first or chill them down, that would definitely bring something new to the masturbation party.

Look, I didn’t dislike this toy by any means, but for me the overall sensation on my penis was quite light, and for me it was just not intense enough and failed to cause me to climax in a blaze of glory, which makes it different from average masturbating. On the plus, It could be a good tool for those who like edging and extended self-pleasuring sessions, or for guys with premature ejaculation problems could use it to prolong themselves from their climax and train themselves to last longer - I think there is definitely a market for this toy. It’s also a shame because my last masturbation sleeve review totally blew my socks off (with a score of 9.5/10) that this one had to follow in its wake.

There are lots of great pluses here - really well made product, easy to use, even easier to clean, replaceable and interchangeable inner beans or ‘water wieners’ for different sensations and decently priced, but for how it felt on my junk and what I got out of using it.

I’m going to score the Ver Spanken masturbator a 6 out of 10….

Review By: @loveitstrapped
Twitter - @loveitstrapped

Product Provided By: www.kanoodle.com.au

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